Lord Fear's Diary


Dear Diary,

Watch my lips and get this down because I haven't time for writing.

In any case I don't believe that tosh about the pen being mightier than the sword. Just try cutting someone's head off with a goose quill and see how far it gets you, that's what I say.

Where was I?

Oh yes, Well, life's no picnic being the Underworld's mightiest living being. It may be tough at the top, but it's no joke at the bottom either, especially in the Dungeon Dimensions where one sign of weakness is taken as an open invitation to kick against The Boss.

Take that awful amphibian Lissard, for instance.

One merely had to mention that we were possibly pleased with his assistance in demolishing Witch Haven when he introduces a small army of Miremen into the second Level!

I wouldn't mind, but he's the only one they'll take instructions from and we're now importing 80 tons of tuna chunks a week!

And the rest of the staff aren't much better..

Raptor is completely obsessed with preparing his new battle galleon, which we're thinking of calling 'The Spirit of Dead Dungeoneers'. That's my way of a warning to the next bunch of little beasts who think they can trifle with me and get away with it. Anyway he's gone all 'Yo-ho-ho! and 'Avast Behind', and I can't cope with that nautical rot.

Strange to say, but it's that disgusting little dungheap Sly Hands, who's been the only one to come up with the goods.

Don't ask me how, but he's managed to find me a Red Dragon, and this one's an absolute monster!

Yes: I know. I know they're all monsters, but this one's more monstrous, if you see what I mean. Anyway it won't be long before everyone sees.

The new wyrm calls himself Scaborous. At least I think it's a he...not the sort of subject you can raise politely, when you're staring down the barrels of two 16 inch flame-throwers.

Anyway; this one is definitely a touch beyond anything that Treguard and his chums can come up with and I can't wait for the next season to start and see how 'Old Scabby' sets about the Powers that Be. 'Powers that Were' - more likely.

As for the hopeless little intruders - dragon niblets - the lot of them.

Ah, but don't you just love feeling in control?



Dear Knightmare,

I have now watched all seven of your series with the six successful teams and I am writing to you about how much I like your programme, in fact, it's my favourite ever!

I was glad to see the seventh series in September of this year. I was sad to see Pickle go, hut Majida plays her part well. I was also glad to see Lord Fear again making me believe as if he really was nasty. The spells also were very good including "Visor" which allowed the dungeoneer to actually see for a limited time in his helmet. They are as good as the first ever spell in series [sic], which was "Freezer" (used when that funny skeleton was edging closer towards the team).

My favourite character has to be the Brollachan, with that funny mouth and favourite expression, "Why don't you feed me?" I thought that getting rid of the brick walls who said "Password" in Series 6 was a good idea. I also like Smirkenorf, that green dragon who flies from level one to level two. The only thing I didn't like about series seven was I thought that level three was too hard. Also when that last team won the shield I thought they had a really tough quest, especially level one! Nevertheless, they still became the sixth team to win (five boys, one girls team).

I would be specially interested if there was a video available?

Alex Seymour


We get many letters requesting videos of previous series of Knightmare - why not write and let us know if you agree and we'll pass your letters on to The Powers That Be! - Ed.


Dear Knightmare,

Why not put previous series of Knightmare on video?

Also I have some ideas for series 8 - why can't you have dark moody rooms again and rooms you would have been in series 1,2,3 & 4 - they looked really good!

Also can you keep the Brollachan as he was very funny, and what about more frogs again and what about more of those corridor conveyor belts?

And the spells scrolls. Please put the series on video!!, 1,2,3,4,5,6 & 7.


James Nankoo




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